How to Break Free from ADHD Waiting Mode: 6 Practical Strategies to Get Unstuck & Take Action
Understanding Waiting Mode and How It Affects ADHD and Executive Functioning
Have you ever had an appointment scheduled for later in the day, only to find yourself unable to focus on anything else until it happens?
Or maybe you've found yourself mindlessly scrolling through your phone during those awkward gaps between tasks, unsure of how to use the time effectively?
If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. This frustrating experience has a name—waiting mode—and it’s a common struggle, especially for those with ADHD or executive functioning challenges.
Waiting mode is more than just procrastination; it’s a state where your brain gets “stuck” in anticipation of an upcoming event, making it difficult to transition into other tasks.
The good news? There are strategies to break free and regain control of your time and energy. Let’s dive in.
What Is Waiting Mode?
Waiting mode occurs when you have a scheduled event or task in the future, and your brain becomes preoccupied with it, preventing you from engaging in anything else. Instead of being productive or enjoying free time, you feel stuck in a mental limbo.
Why Does Waiting Mode Happen?
Waiting mode is tied to executive function skills, which include planning, organizing, prioritizing, and task-switching. If these skills are challenged—whether due to ADHD, anxiety, chronic illness, or general executive dysfunction—transitioning between activities can feel overwhelming.
A few reasons waiting mode happens:
✅ Anticipation & Task-Switching Anxiety – Your brain is trying to prepare for the upcoming event, even if it doesn’t require much preparation.
✅ Analysis Paralysis– If you have a long stretch of open time, too many choices can make it hard to decide what to do.
✅ Time Blindness – If you struggle to accurately gauge time, you might overestimate how long you need to get ready.
✅ Emotional Responses – If you feel anxious, excited, or nervous about the event, your brain may get stuck in “preparation mode.”
How to Break Free from Waiting Mode
If waiting mode is keeping you stuck, here are six actionable strategies to regain momentum:
1. Name It & Acknowledge It
The first step in changing any behavior is awareness. When you catch yourself stuck in waiting mode, say (out loud or in your head), “I’m in waiting mode.” This simple act of labeling what’s happening can help your brain shift gears.
2. Move Your Body
Physical movement can help “unstick” your brain. Stand up, stretch, walk around, or change your environment. Movement interrupts the waiting cycle and signals to your brain that it’s time to transition.
3. Do a Quick & Easy Task
Identify a low-effort, low-pressure task you can complete in just a few minutes. This could be:
✔️ Refilling your water bottle
✔️ Answering one email
✔️ Tidying up a small space
✔️ Sending a quick textCompleting even a tiny task helps build momentum and shifts your focus away from waiting mode.
4. Use Time Math & Plan Backward
If time blindness is an issue, break it down. Ask yourself:
⏳ What time is my appointment/event?
⏳ How long does it take to get ready?
⏳ How much actual free time do I have?
Writing this out (on paper or a digital planner) can make it easier to see how much real time is available for something else.
5. Have a Pre-Made “Action Menu”
Instead of deciding what to do on the spot, keep a menu of go-to activities for moments like this. You can create different categories:
🧠 Quick Tasks – Water your plants, tidy for 5 minutes
💆♀️ Self-Care – Stretch, listen to music, deep breathing exercises
🎉 Dopamine Boosters – Read, doodle, do a 5-minute puzzle
🏠 Household Tasks – Load the dishwasher, wipe the counters
When you’re stuck in waiting mode, refer to this list and pick something based on your available time and energy level.
6. Check In With Someone
If you're struggling with prioritizing, talking through your plan with someone else can help. Whether it’s a friend, a coach, or even AI, saying things out loud can provide clarity and accountability.
Final Thoughts: Be Kind to Yourself
Waiting mode is frustrating, but it’s also normal. Your brain isn’t trying to sabotage you—it’s trying to protect you by preparing for a transition. Some waiting time is necessary, but if it’s interfering with your ability to function, these strategies can help you shift gears more easily.
Above all, be patient and kind to yourself. Breaking out of waiting mode is a skill that takes practice. The more you recognize it and apply small changes, the easier it will become.
If this post resonated with you, consider sharing it with a friend or rating the podcast that inspired it. The more we talk about executive functioning struggles, the more we can support each other in navigating them. 💛
Curious about Executive Function Coaching?
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Sarah Lovell (00:03)
Are you the kind of person who has a 2 p.m appointment and then you can't do anything until that appointment happens? Or do you ever have a random amount of time between scheduled events and you catch yourself doom scrolling because you aren't sure what to do? You are not alone and there is a name for what you're experiencing. It's called waiting mode and that's what we're gonna talk about today. So let's not wait anymore. Let's jump in.
So I'm gonna pause and do my intro and my music.
you
I'm gonna close my door because my dogs are actually chewing their bones outside. Sorry.
Okay. Thanks for letting me make a silly pun about waiting. Podcasting is such a unique experience because I am standing alone in my office. My dogs are outside playing in the hallway, but I'm here talking with you while you're going about your day. So I don't know. I feel connected. I feel like I can make silly pun jokes.
And we can we can all be friends But I hope you're pairing this podcast with something whether it's out for a walk Driving on your commute doing dishes doing laundry and hope that that makes it go quicker the task or the podcast But I'm excited to jump in today and talk about what I'm here to talk about which is waiting mode and
I think this is a universal experience. don't know. Being an executive function and ADHD coach, it's something that I talk about a lot with clients. I tend to work with neurodivergent folks. So whether they have ADHD, autism, challenges with mental health, like depression or anxiety, chronic illness, there are lots of different things that impact your executive functioning.
planning, organizing, prioritizing, all those higher, high level skills that we need every single day. And waiting mode definitely connects with executive functioning. And I'm gonna get into that in this episode. But I do think that waiting mode is a pretty universal experience, but people experience it to different
degrees of intensity or different frequencies or different levels of impact on their life. So I am neurotypical. I do not fall into any diagnosis or category or label, whatever phrase fits how you want to describe it. There's lots of different, lots of different words that we can use. And I think it's important to be inclusive of, you know, words that people connect to.
So I'm neurotypical and I experience waiting mode. And like I said, don't think I, like I said, I don't think I experience it as intensely or chronically as my clients do, but I've noticed it's popping up more for me now than it has in the past. And I think it has to do with my work schedule looking different now that I work from home, I'm fully self-employed.
I'm in charge of my schedule. I have full autonomy over my schedule for the most part. And so I've noticed a shift in waiting mode popping up more for me. So before I jump into more of what waiting mode is and what you can do about it, I want to just take a second to acknowledge that different people
experience things differently. And so as with every podcast episode that you listen to of mine, a friendly reminder to take what's helpful, leave what isn't, and adjust to fit for you because you know you best. So let me give you an example of how waiting mode popped up in my life literally today. So it is currently 1130 in the morning while I'm recording this episode.
And the only concrete thing that I had on my schedule today, like an appointment, was a 1 p.m. Zoom meeting. And so I wake up early with the dogs. If you've listened to my past episodes, I'm up at like 5.30 with the dogs because that is their internal clock and they are rearing to go. So my day starts early. I give myself a slow morning, because that's important for my self-care and the way that I start my day.
But basically from like seven o'clock until one, I had full freedom to do whatever I wanted or whatever I needed. And I think that is a blessing and a curse because most of us need a mix of structure and flexibility. But if we have too much of either, it can be really hard to get started and do the things that we want or need to do. So for me, if I have too much
flexibility, if I have too much freedom, like literally my entire day being open, I get analysis paralysis. I'm like, there I could do so many things. There's so many things to choose from, right? And so I think that is common for a lot of people. If you have too much free time, it can be hard to make a plan. On the flip side of that, if you have too much structure,
you might push up against it or fight it or hold some resentment if your schedule is like just way too overbooked. And so we need the Goldilocks effect. You need the right balance of structure and flexibility in your day. And I will do another podcast episode on what I call like intuitive scheduling, which like gives us that mix of flexibility and structure.
But today we're talking about waiting mode and I've waited long enough to tell you about what waiting mode looked like for me today. So basically waiting mode happens when you have an appointment or a task that you need to do at a specific time. And between now and that specific time, you have a hard time getting yourself to take action on anything else. So essentially you're stuck.
And so you're thinking about all the things that you could do or should in air quotes do, right? Your brain starts shitting yourself. And so you just keep bouncing around ideas. You could do this, you could do that, but what about this? Woo, do I have enough time or energy for that? And so it's kind of a version of limbo, which I recorded an episode, episode four is about limbo.
But basically, your brain is bouncing around between all of these different things of what you could do or should do, and you don't take any action. So that's one variation of waiting mode, where it's kind of a limbo. You're like, what do I do at this time? But waiting mode is also really connected to our executive functioning because your brain is anticipating a task switch.
So for me today at one o'clock, my Zoom meeting, my brain is like, okay, I need to mentally prepare to get ready for that Zoom meeting. But I do not need math, I don't know, five hours. I don't need five hours to prepare for a Zoom meeting that I have every single week with a client I know really well. Maybe I need 15 minutes to get into a good head space, prepare my computer, get my desk all ready, right?
But waiting mode is your brain trying to protect you a little bit. So waiting mode kind of serves a purpose, even though it's not always the most helpful. So your brain is like, I need to prepare to task switch, I need to conserve energy for this upcoming thing, I need to go through the planning process of how do I get ready for this thing. And depending on what the task is,
Yeah, you might need some time to get ready and to task switch. But for my example today, I do not. I do not need five hours to get ready for this appointment. And so...
Task switching is a really complicated executive function skill because it's pulling in everything I just talked about. The time management piece, how long does it take to get ready for this? The planning, what steps do I need to do? Organizing, do I need to prepare anything? Prioritizing, right? So task switching is complicated. And so waiting mode.
is a variation of task switching. I think I've said that probably 10 times, but I really wanna like drive that home if you're somebody that struggles with task switching, or if hearing me talk about this, you're like, my gosh, this is connecting. I wanna just like validate that. So that is one piece of the puzzle with waiting mode. The other piece of the puzzle that I talked about is that analysis paralysis piece, right? Like if you have full freedom,
full flexibility of time, whether it's one hour or five hours, your brain is basically going through, I was gonna, I'm thinking of the word Rolodex, like I'm visualizing like an old school Rolodex, which I've never even used because that was not a thing ever in my lifetime, but that's what I'm I'm picturing like going through. And if you're like Sarah, what's a Rolodex? I can't even tell you, but that's what I'm picturing, like kind of going through all of the options.
And so your brain just has too many options to choose from. And so then it chooses nothing, which is a bummer. And so that's, we will talk about some strategies for that in a little bit. But then your brain is also, like I said, protecting you in a way because depending on what task is coming up, it's trying to mentally prepare you for it. So are you feeling anxious about the upcoming event or are you super excited?
your brain is spitting out a ton of chemicals, maybe depending on the event coming up, that are either getting you hyped up for it, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, those feel-good chemicals anticipating something that you're excited about. Or if it's something that you're feeling anxious about, your cortisol is spiking. And so it's creating stress and anxiety. And so that makes doing anything else that much harder.
And there are probably lots of other reasons that you might get stuck in waiting mode based on your specific situation. So if none of these are clicking with you, check in with yourself. How do I feel about the upcoming event? Like what emotions are popping up? What thoughts are popping up? What is your brain automatically telling you about this upcoming appointment or event? Is being in waiting mode supporting me right now?
So I'm talking about waiting mode as something that we want to get out of. I think most of the time we do. But like I said, waiting mode can be supportive. And so is what you're doing working for you? And if it is, give yourself permission to take time to prepare for the upcoming event, mentally, executive functioning wise, task switching wise. But if it's not supporting you, if you're
feeling that icky feeling of I do not want to be spending my time or my energy this way, let's talk about some strategies to get out of waiting mode.
All right, I think I have six steps to get out of waiting mode. And this is going to be a super simplified list. I'm about to make getting unstuck sound easier than it actually is. And so I just wanna validate that. Like getting unstuck, taking action, getting out of waiting mode can be really complicated. Sometimes it is like, boom, boom, boom, I'm ready to go.
But other times it is a heavy lift. So I wanna validate that, that if you're like, why are you making it sound so easy? I'm simplifying the steps for the purpose of wanting to share this resource in a free podcast. I, it's so important to me that I get to share these tools and strategies and validate you if you are someone who's feeling stuck in waiting mode.
And simplifying it is the best way for me to do it in a podcast. This is something I coach clients through on an individual basis or in our small group coaching. So this is super simplified. Just want to like name that. All right, so here are the six steps to get out of waiting mode. So first, you need to recognize that it's actually happening. You can't do anything about it.
if you haven't noticed it and named it for yourself. So I am a broken record on the power of the words that we use. So when you notice that you're in waiting mode, like the red flags of whatever that might be for you, for me, it's like I'm beat bopping around, like not really doing much of anything. Like I'll start something, but be like, no, I could go to this other thing.
And so I'm like starting a bunch of random tasks, but I don't really have a plan. It also for me looks like doom-scrolling or like randomly like using my phone for no purpose. So you will have different red flags for what your waiting mode is and you can do some reflecting on that past waiting modes or even like in the future if you're like, wait, could this be waiting mode? So when you notice it,
you are going to name it for yourself. So I literally say, I'm stuck in waiting mode right now, whether it's in my head or out loud, doesn't matter. But like, it's really important that you name it because when we tell our brain what we're experiencing, one, it validates us and two, it helps our brain like truly calm down, name it to tame it, right?
So step one is naming it. I'm in waiting mode right now. And then step two is identifying a quick, light, easy lift that you can take action on. And so step two and three actually kind of merge together. Step three is get up and physically move. So there is some power in like breaking our like mental paralysis, if you will, by like
physically moving. So two and three can be connected. It can be like, okay, I'm gonna get up and go to a different room, or I'm going to go for a short walk. But like literally movement helps us get out of our heads. It also helps you think and process and plan in a different way. Many people do some of their best thinking when they're in motion.
So getting up and moving truly can help with waiting mode. And it can be getting up to get a glass of water, right? So a quick, light, easy lift that you can take action on. It could be something related to the task that you're mentally preparing for. It could be something that's on your action list or your daily list or literally getting up and spending time with the pets.
the kids, going and talking to a coworker, right? Getting up and doing something to get yourself out of this stuck mode, like physically.
Okay, so that helps break the waiting mode cycle that you're in. Now that your brain is starting to shift out of waiting mode, like you're like, okay, what, how do I, what do I do next? Right? So time math is important here because if you're somebody that experiences time blindness or you have a hard time figuring out how long things will take your experience of the passing of time, like you don't
feel time going past, it's really important to do time math. So you want to figure out how much time you have available between now and your appointment or task, whatever the time sensitive thing is, and still give yourself some transition time so that you can have some amount of waiting mode. So for me, I'll go back to my example of I have a Zoom call at 1 o'clock.
It's an appointment that it's, it's a client that I work with all the time. And like I said earlier, I don't need a lot of prep. So I really only need 15 minutes before my appointment to like give myself time to transition. So if you're going to like, let's say you're driving to a doctor's appointment or a dentist appointment, or something that maybe you're feeling a little bit anxious about, you're going to do some math on, okay, what time do I need to get to the appointment?
How long does it take to get there? How long will it take for me to get ready? And how much downtime do I want to have before I leave, right? So that's some complicated math for some people if you experience challenges with time management. So this is something that I will do a future episode on time management and time blindness because it's obviously a massive topic. But if you're somebody who struggles with time management,
Physically writing it down can be helpful. Looking at a analog clock can be helpful. And running your plan by somebody else or AI. I want to bring, this is like a random aside, I want to bring like somebody who is a specialist, somebody who knows a lot about AI on to talk about the many different ways that we can use it. My clients are using it in crazy cool ways, including,
planning their day. So something like the example I just gave, like talking to your AI, chat GPT, whatever, and saying, here's what I need to do, here's how long this takes, here's where it is, help me plan backwards from this. So AI is pretty cool. So that is step four. Figure out how much time you have available, give yourself a designated
waiting mode time or transition time, tasks, switch time, mental preparation time, so that you're not using your entire day, if that's your goal, if your goal is to shorten it. So for my example, I'm saying, okay, I'm gonna give myself 15 minutes. So now you know how much time you have left between now and your preparation time. And this is where you can brain dump some action steps that you can take.
And it's even better if you already have this as a pre-made list. I am a huge fan of having menus of options for yourself. And I will do another episode on this. I need to like make notes of all the episodes I'm gonna do as I'm saying them out loud right now. But having menus of options is awesome. So you can have a menu of self-care options. You can have a menu of work.
You can have a menu of fun dopamine tasks, right? You can have all of these random lists. They're not random, they're intentional. You can have all of these lists that you can then choose from to be like, okay, what matches my time, energy, mood? What's gonna make the most impact for me right now? Right, so sometimes it is checking something off our to-do list and sometimes it is
sitting down and doing something that'll help regulate your nervous system, something that'll help you feel calmer, more connected. Again, that mental preparedness for whatever's coming up that your brain is telling you that you need waiting mode for.
So that was number five. And then number six that I have written down is run your plan by someone, which I already mentioned. So if you're somebody who isn't sure about, like I said, the time management piece or the prioritizing piece, talking it through with somebody else, honestly, even talking it out loud for yourself can give you a lot of clarity. So like I said, that is a super simplified list.
for getting out of waiting mode and helping yourself task switch. The most important thing is that you're patient and kind with yourself. I will forever be a broken record on that. It is okay to be in waiting mode. I know this episode was about how to get out of it, but if sometimes we do need a day where it's like, okay, I'm just gonna be, today's, I'm gonna start that over.
I also want to say that it is okay to be in waiting mode. Like I said, it's a way that your brain is trying to protect you. But if waiting mode is chronically impacting your life or when it does pop up, it doesn't feel good, then pick a few strategies from this episode, write them down somewhere as a reminder for yourself and try them out.
I also want to say, before we wrap up, I also want to say a giant thank you for being here and listening to this podcast. If you've made it to the end of the episode, please know I really, really appreciate you. Even if people didn't make it to the end of the episode, I still appreciate them too. But if you enjoy this podcast, if you've learned from it or feel validated by it, or if you've ever nodded along...
because what I'm saying resonates with you or connects with you. I'm going to ask you a favor. Would you please consider rating the podcast on the platform that you listen to? So I am a small business and it really does make a difference and helps the algorithm know to send people to this podcast who might benefit from it. I would really, really appreciate it.
My goal is to be able to share free resources with as many people as possible. So if there's somebody in your life who you think would benefit or enjoy listening to my podcast, please consider sharing the link with them, whether it's this episode, a past episode, or just the show in general. I really appreciate you helping me get the word out because I think more people deserve to know, I'm going to rephrase that.
because I would love to share my...
I would love to share this free resource with as many people as I possibly can. So, okay, thank you so much. That's it for today. I really appreciate you being part of my community here. Take extra good care.
